We Have to Do Better for Our Kids: The Reality of Accessing Mental Health Care

What can be done to help the mental health of our youth?

You see advertisements for mental health services everywhere. Commercials tell us help is available. Social media campaigns encourage us to speak up and seek support. Schools promote mental health awareness, and communities organize initiatives to reduce stigma.

Looking at all of this, you might think we have this situation handled.

We don't.

This past year was the hardest year our family has ever experienced.

My youngest child, a 12-year-old middle school student, was struggling not only with the changes his body was going through, but also with depressive episodes, panic attacks, and bullying.

Like many parents, we did what we were supposed to do. We called and scheduled appointments for evaluations and testing. We were told the first available appointment was five months away.

Five months.

So, we waited and survived the only way we knew how: one day at a time.

Every day felt like a battle. Every time my phone rang during school hours, ice ran through my veins because I knew it was probably the school calling to tell me my son was having another panic attack. Getting through a single day felt impossible.

Things reached a breaking point in December when my son told us he didn't want to live anymore.

My husband and I immediately took him to a crisis center for an evaluation. We were sent home and told someone would call us the next day.

No one ever called.

One week later, we took him to another crisis center. This time, we felt hopeful. They enrolled him in an intensive outpatient program that met for 12 hours each week.

After three sessions, we were informed that the program would be suspended because they had lost a therapist and needed to hire a replacement. We were told we would receive a call within two weeks.

We never received a call.

Meanwhile, things at school continued to worsen. My son was experiencing three to four panic attacks every week, making it nearly impossible for him to attend school in person. In an effort to preserve some sense of normalcy and academic progress, we enrolled him in an online program while we once again searched for someone, anyone, who could help.

Our third attempt was a national online intensive program that included group therapy, individual therapy, and family sessions. My son attended therapy five days a week while completing his sixth-grade year online.

During this time, we finally received the appointment with a psychologist we had scheduled months earlier.

After several months, several medication changes, and several thousand dollars in expenses, my son completed the intensive program, found a medication that worked for him, and finished his sixth-grade year online.

Our hope now is simple: that he can return to in-person school for seventh grade and that our family can begin to get our lives back.

But I can't shake the feeling that my son lost a year of his childhood that he will never get back.

And I keep asking myself the same questions.

What can be done to fix this problem?

Advertisements and media make it seem as though mental health care is easily accessible and readily available. That was not our experience.

Why was it so hard to get help?

How many parents are making the same phone calls we made, only to be told to wait months for an appointment?

How many children continue to struggle while sitting on waiting lists?

How many families simply give up because the process is exhausting, confusing, and overwhelming?

We have good insurance, and it was still incredibly expensive to get help.

How do families without insurance get help?

How do parents working multiple jobs navigate appointments, transportation, and treatment costs?

Mental health awareness matters, but awareness without access changes nothing.

Our children need more therapists, more psychologists, more school support systems, more crisis resources, and shorter wait times. Families in crisis should not have to fight this hard-to-find help for their children.

No parent should hear their child say they don't want to live anymore and then be placed on a waiting list.

No child should have to lose a year of childhood while adults and systems struggle to provide care.

We have to do better for our kids, because when a child asks for help, help should actually be there.